I MISS YOU!

So, it has been nearly ten LONG months since I last saw my husband, who was sent on his second tour to Iraq last year. Let me tell you, ten months is a long damn time. Prior to his last visit, we had gone almost seven months without seeing one another.

I am getting pretty sick and tired of being a single mom to our two year old. Since Rowan was born, Jamie has only seen him a hand full of times. It angers me, yet I know that it is a choice that WE made and this is just one of the many sacrifices that go with. Still...I miss him and want him home terribly.

I know that Jamie will be home shortly, and this always leads to some anxiety. I want him here more than anything, but I know that with his return comes many adjustments. Again, I have gotten used to being the only parent to our son and to my stepson when he is here. I do it all around here; I pay the bills, clean the house, do the laundry, wash the dishes, put the dishes away. I do our budget and make sure we are putting enough back for savings and upcoming expenses. I also do the yard work; I mow, I trim, I weed...I take out the trash and clean out the garage. I maintain the vehicle and make sure it is serviced. I raise Rowan by myself; he knows nobody but me as his caregiver. I make his meals, make sure he is fed, I give him his baths and make sure he takes his vitamins and medicine. I have broke him of the binky and bottle. I have watched every single milestone from day one: first smile, first giggle, first word, first time he sat, crawled, walked. The first time he went up steps, and down... First at the pool, swimming lessons, first time in a big boy car seat. I've taught him how to peddle his tricycle and pull the dog in the wagon. I have been with him for every single doctor's appointment and held him down while they gave him his shots. I've witnessed a concussion and his first stitches... It's been just me. I know that when Jamie gets home, it will free up some of my responsibilities with Rowan. In one way, I can't WAIT!!! In another...am I ready for this? Is Rowan? Is Jamie???
How do I let go and hand over the reigns when this is all I have known for so long? It's huge...