Today, I made my to-do list and then totally blew it off; it was a liberating feeling! I pretty much accomplished nothing, other than spending lots of QT with my wonderful little boy. I did get some meals
premade; I fried up some hamburger for a quick meal for Rowan later this weekend, and I baked some chicken nuggets and
tator tots and cut up some fruit and veggies, steamed them. And that is pretty much IT, whew...nice and relaxing. The problem with this, however, is that now tomorrow will be even more busy! I have got to get to the bridal store to pay for my bride's maid's dress for Autumn's wedding next month, get it fitted and ready to alter, go grocery shopping, go shopping for a top to wear to my cousin's reception tomorrow night, hit a birthday party at 2:00 for my cousin's daughter and then get to Springfield by 4:30 for the reception. I am way excited for the reception, and I can't WAIT to see all of the
Hatcher family that I haven't seen in FOREVER!!!!!!!! Most of them I haven't seen since my own wedding three years ago, and some before that.
Well, as for Rowan, he is growing so quickly. He is finally accepting whole milk in replacement of formula. I am hoping that this will lead us to
sippy cups instead of bottles!!! He does okay with a cup during the day, but at night time he HAS to have his
BABA, or watch out!!! The fits and tantrums begin, and they don't stop! I need to just hold strong, but I haven't been able to yet...bad mom, I know...thank you...
He is getting to where he really is understanding things better; he doesn't necessarily communicate much yet (with words anyway), but he does understand when I ask him to do something, like, "give that to mommy", "throw that away", "that is icky", "don't put that in your mouth", etc. He follows direction very well for the most part!!! He is such a doll baby, although I
definitely have my moments where I would use a different adjective to describe his behavior!
LOLSo, I have some appointments to look at different houses on Sunday. A little nervous, yes I am. I'll keep you updated on that one.
So, I have to get a little emotional on you tonight...please forgive me. Today was a little bit of a rough one. I sent an email for our family and friends, just letting them know the updates on Jamie. My mother in law e-mailed me back, and was very upset. She was having "one of those days" today, and was crying uncontrollably at work about Jamie being in Iraq. She called me when she got home, and she was still very emotional and upset. When I read her email, I couldn't help but think about being in her position when my own children are older. As a mom myself now, I cannot even imagine being in her shoes, and honestly, I hope I never am. She is very much proud of Jamie and Joshua (my brother in law, also in the Army), do not misread me. She does however, fear for her sons' lives and safety. I knew that she hurt for them and missed them, especially in Iraq, but I never really gave it too much thought. I do not envy her position. She has raised and protected her children all of these years, and yes they may be grown, but they are her babies nonetheless. Now, Jamie is somewhere a world away from her, and there is nothing she can do to protect him, as she has always done before. I look at Rowan, and I can only hope and pray that I will always be near to protect him; as mothers, that is our instinct.
I can tell you how to handle Iraq and deployments as a wife, as a mother of a military child (though I am still figuring this one out), but I have no idea how to console a mother whose child is in harms way. To all of the mothers with children (no matter what their age) away and fighting this war, you too are heroes, and I thank you for the sacrifices you make everyday.
I didn't know what to say to Sherry today. I have never really heard her upset and crying (not like this). I wished I was there to hug her, but we are hundreds of miles apart. I heard myself saying words to her that I wish people would say to me, I guess....I don't really talk about Jamie being gone. Nobody really asks about how I am doing, how Rowan and Kyle are doing, and I have gotten to where I almost prefer it that way. If I am not talking about it, it's like it isn't really happening (though in my heart I know it is). I don't focus on Jamie being in Iraq, in fact I try to do everything in my power to keep my mind off of it. Until the wee hours of night, everything is fine; I am fine; Rowan and Kyle are fine...then the sun goes down, Rowan goes to bed, all is still...all but my heart...and then it is okay to be me, to be upset, to let the tears fall, and to let my heart ache.
Rowan is now in bed, and I am going to go and let myself be upset and cry.....goodnight...
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