oops

I just chewed off all my fingernails...nerves are getting the best of me!

Life...

COUNTDOWN: TEN DAYS TO CLOSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



My eyes are so sore, so I hope I am up to looking at a computer screen for a while. I have a lot to say tonight, just random goodness of course. Today has been a good day, and a bad day, all rolled up into one...

I am on a mission to fill my new house. ONLY TEN MORE DAYS UNTIL WE CLOSE AND CAN START MOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, people, you have no idea how good it feels! I have dreamed of owning our own home for all my life, and it is finally a dream realized. It feels wonderful! I wish we had our belongings here instead of having them in Germany, but I am coping. Fortunately, I have had a lot of help, and am slowly accumulating items to put into our house. I have been looking in the papers for some things that we still do not have, have went to garage sales, looked around for bargains, etc. Most things I don't mind doing without, I can make do. However, I am in desperate search of a living room sofa (I would like to fill it, ya know...like with tables too?, but just a sofa would be sufficient at this point!), and a dining room table...oh, and a mattress and box spring for Kyle's full size bed. Those are my main concerns at this point. (ANYONE LOOKING TO GET RID OF ANY OF THESE ITEMS, SHOOT ME A MESSAGE, OKAY???)Once I find these items, I am sure I will move onto more items that we need, but these are the major things we are still without. We have family coming to visit in August, and I sure do not want to have an empty house! LOL I am not picky, I am not looking for brand new items by any means. We have new furniture in Germany that I LOVE!!! Jamie and I busted our butts to save money for new furniture, and I love it!!! Oh well, I am going to have to suck it up for now, right? I thought I could just go and find some stuff at garage sales, but it is all so dirty looking...and so expensive! I may just be watching tv from the floor; I'll throw down some pillows or something! HAHA At least Rowan will have fun, and it will allow for more room for his TOYS!!! HAHA
I really need to go and see the house again...I miss it! LOL Truly, it is an amazing house!!! I absolutely love it, and I can't wait to make it HOME!!! It feels so wonderful to know that Rowan has a HOME, a place he will remember growing up in. It's a dream come true for us. There is not a whole lot that I want to change, but I do want to get my hands dirty and do some painting! WOOHOO I have the colors picked out, just need to go get it and get started.
I also want to get up to Target and get a few necessities: trash cans, cleaning supplies, shower curtain, things like that. Lord, I am getting heartburn thinking about it.............honestly, stresses me out! Because the Army is still paying for our house in Germany, our house payment, taxes, insurance and utilities will be coming out of Jamie's paycheck...we struggle as it is, so I am very stressed about making it work. Oh, and then add to it that Jamie got demoted...God is good though, and I know that we will make it work. Am I rambling? I believe that I am!

So, to prevent me from having a heart attack, let's change the subject. Tomorrow is Autumn's reception in Peoria!!! I am anxious to see everyone. I have NO clean clothes, so I am currently doing laundry. I don't know what time we will leave here tomorrow, pry early afternoon, which is right at Ro's nap time...YIKES!!! Could get ugly folks. I should be getting things ready for tomorrow. Ro is in bed, but not asleep. I need a shower. Do I complain a lot? SOmetimes I feel like I do. Yeah, I am totally rambling now!

So, Jamie called yesterday. I won't get to talk to him for quite a while, and that bums me out. He is on some mission or something, I don't know really. I worry about him a lot. He is the love of my life, so I guess I should worry, right?

Uhm, what else! Well, I will get to see my Kyle bug soon!!! I haven't seen him since March, so I am overdue for some Kyle time! He's such a good boy; I am very blessed.

As far as today, I went to a few garage sales, found a few little things for the house. I also filled Ro's pool and let him play outside in it for the afternoon. We had FUN!

I haven't heard anything more about Uncle Ron's services. I have had a few moments today that I got pretty bummed about it. It's life, it's what happens, but it still hurts when it does. When i lose someone, I can't help but think of life. I mean, there are so many people that are so important to me, and I cannot imagine life for a single second without them. Okay, I am starting to cry, and my eyes already hurt...I can't talk about this yet. But, let me say this...I really miss my Deeva. It is going to be really weird to move into our house without her. I keep thinking this over and over and over................

GOOD NIGHT

Sad night

Last night I went to the second class and learned all about first aid. It covered a LOT of different situations, so it was very informative!!! I feel very enlightened.
When I got home, I saw that I had missed a call from my cousin, Catie. I called her back, and expected to hear some kind of update on our Uncle Ron. He was hospitalized the other day; he's been fighting cancer and putting up one heck of a fight. Catie informed me that he had passed away, and I really was shocked. I did not expect to hear that news. I guess the first thought that went through my head was just empathy for his family. His wife, our Aunt Toshiko, has been right there by his side, supporting him every step of the way. I can't image the loss for her. They have two grown children, Emi and Ryan, and Emi has two small children, Keiko and Curtis. My heart aches for all of them.
The second thought was a little difficult to handle. Uncle Ron is the first aunt/uncle on either side of my family that has passed away. It is hard, I won't even lie. To think that they are my parents generation, that hurts!!! I am just praying for all of the loved ones he leaves behind. Last night I made several phone calls to family, and although I tried not to, I couldn't help but cry. I don't know what the funeral and burial plans are at this point.......

Anyway, it is Friday, and I will write more later.